For James and Melissa Allen of Louisville, Kentucky, staying active is a part of life. The two are both motorcycle enthusiasts and enjoy a sense of freedom known only to those who can appreciate the open road.
“It’s what everyone strives for,” James said. “The kids are grown, so now you can go and do whatever you want to do. I worked a job that was pretty easy, and was home by a decent time like 2:00 in the afternoon. I used to work for Republic Services, it’s a trash company. I used to do residential trash, but then I got a gig where I’d go and deliver dumpsters. Now, we had a lot of free time. These days we babysit our grandchildren quite a bit.”
When not busy watching their grandchildren, James and Melissa enjoy taking things easy. James in particular notes that getting an opportunity to ride his motorcycle serves as a mental escape, a place where he can find peace from what he’s experienced. “We like to hang out and watch TV. When it’s warmer, we will go for a ride. Riding is my escape. I would attach my cane to the bike and I could take off to get away from things.”
James suffered a gunshot wound in 2024, a wrong that deeply affected him. “I truly have to forgive the person who shot me. That’s deep. How do you forgive someone who tried to take your life? But on a spiritual level, you ask God to forgive you, so you have to be able to forgive. It’s hard, and you can’t always control your mind, which goes everywhere sometimes, especially when you deal with a lot of trauma. I knew PTSD was real, but…now I know how real it is. This experience was an eye-opener. A lot of people don’t get an opportunity at a second chance. I try to tell my son that I’m giving him advice that I wish I’d had. I wasn’t the best dad or the best husband by any means. We’ve been through 23 years of marriage together, and that really doesn’t happen very often. I’ve put that woman through hell, dealing with my nonsense, and she’s still here. I got off track, but since being shot, I’ve had to work through a lot, and I think I’ve done pretty well so far. I’ve had to think a lot about who I am and who I want to associate with.”
When James arrived at the emergency room at UofL Hospital, he was still trying to get a grasp on the situation.
“A nurse told me I’d lost too much blood, and that we needed to go into emergency surgery,” he shared. “I wanted to tell my wife goodbye before I die, when they said, ‘We don’t have time for this.’ Next thing I knew I was waking up in the ICU. It was a scary moment in life, because I had already experienced all that I had, but for everything to just be…gone, to not have someone next to you who is supposed to be next to you, it was scary.”
Waking up in the ICU was a disorienting experience for James. Some of his friends and family were with him, including Melissa and his mother. As much as James wanted retribution for the violence carried out against him, he also notes that this isn’t who he is or who he wants to be anymore. “It would just be another thing that haunts me in life. I still have demons that haunt me from earlier experiences in my life. PTSD is real, and there’s things in my life that I’m not proud of. But you have to try to look at the bigger picture, and I have to set a better example for my son and grandson. How I lived before wouldn’t have been a good example.”
In total, James’ injuries included the following: a bullet wound to the right hip (which passed through his pelvic bone, abdomen, and into his spine, which remains to this day), a bullet through the back of his right leg (resulting in nerve damage), a bullet to his left groin (which hit his femoral artery), a bullet to the back part of his right hip (which was removed).
In total, James was shot four times.
“I can remember being shot, and I remember the tourniquet on my leg,” he said. “When I woke up, my leg didn’t work. I couldn’t comprehend what was happening.”
James was terrified that he’d lost the use of his legs and felt irritable about his situation, until the nurses were able to calm him down and walk him through what had happened.
“Then the doctors came in and reviewed what was going on, showing me that I could move my toes but couldn’t lift my leg,” James said. “He told me that because I had movement in my toes, I’m not going to lose my leg, but that I would need stents in my right leg to get the blood flowing again. From there, I was still hesitant. I was scared I’d lose my leg and didn’t want to fall asleep.”
James underwent some additional procedures, including a procedure in his surgery to remove whatever bullet shrapnel they could find, as well as to ensure there was no internal bleeding to any internal organ. James notes, “The doctor told me that he’d seen a lot of bullet wounds, obviously being in the trauma center. Come to find out, the bullet that went into my abdomen didn’t touch a thing. The doctor told me that very seldom happens.”
“The ICU was rough for a couple of days,” James remembered. “They had to pack the wounds, which was excruciatingly painful. They’d have to wait for my pain meds to kick in before they could go to work on me. At the time I couldn’t help them, I could barely move. I was just a mess, a painful mess. And they had to do that twice a day. Life in the ICU is just sitting there and…thinking. You find out who your true friends are in situations like that. It was kind of boring…but that’s when I met Janae Wright [community health worker] . She shared her story, which helped me a ton, and that’s when Amy Mattingly [trauma program art therapist] came in with her coloring materials. It sounds silly, but it really is therapy. It’s therapeutic to do art like that and let your mind find some peace.”
James was discharged to Frazier Rehabilitation Institute. James said his time in the Frazier Rehab Institute was incredible. “That whole place was awesome,” he shared. “I went there in a wheelchair, and came out walking with my cane. It’s a regimented. Almost full-time job. They give you a lunch break, but then you’re back to work. But their people are awesome. I don’t have a single bad word for any of them.”
Melissa noted, “He will get some PTSD or anxiety moments, where he’s not really aware of what’s going on. It bothers me a little because I can usually calm him down most of the time. At first, if he’d go riding by himself it would bother me because I wasn’t there to help out if anything happened.” James added, “I would pack my bag and take off and be gone for several days with a friend. There were times I was just going to go, and she was worried to death. But it really just is my escape, it helps me to feel more normal.”
Besides spending time on the road, James notes that spending time with his family offers a way to work through some of the depression he experiences. “Spending time with the grandkids, I really enjoy that,” he said. “Now I am going through a lot of depression, but being with them really helps. Going to the gym helps a lot too. I enjoy it, and I can get rid of some of my anger there. I feel like I might have calmed down some.”
Something James reiterated was the importance of a strong mindset throughout this process. “It’s been a journey. The dreams are what gets me sometimes, because they’re so vivid, something I’d never dealt with before.”
James is excited to continue working towards peace and fulfillment. “My future is going to be good. I’m going to find out my purpose, find out a lot of things. I talked to a young man a few months ago, and he spoke to me about the importance of learning to love myself, which isn’t easy. Even through all the dumb sh*t I’ve done through my life, I have to remember to love myself.”
When asked about what he would want to share with others, James notes, “It’s not for everyone, but there is a higher power out there. You can’t believe in one and not believe in the other. It’s real. I sit back and look at things sometimes, and the Lord works in mysterious ways. Everyone on Earth is here for a purpose. We get sad if a child dies, because we feel that they didn’t get to live their lives the way we do, or as someone else does. That kind of pain tells us about ourselves, that we know that there’s a good and right, and also a wrong and bad. Are there evil people in the world? Yeah, there are. But you can’t control the evil things people do. But the Lord knows what’s going on in someone’s heart. He knows exactly what’s going on. I think people need to get more in-tune with their spiritual lives. I’m not one to preach, by any means; I still do wrong. But people need to listen for the call. Life is short, and sometimes you need to focus on what’s important and what’s not important. It’s when you focus on what’s not important that you lose sight of what matters. I lost sight of what matters, and that’s part of why I ended up how I did. We have to learn how to forgive and move forward, and I believe that comes from the Lord.”
